sowillitbecoffeeortea

Having all of what you need in one person does kind of seem to be a stretch. But believing that someone is as like that for you, might just be pure devotion. Mere words like, 'missing', 'yearning' have become the last way I could describe this dreading of being so close yet so far from him. Being the cadaver in this situation, who actually also blooms with love; dripping as like nectar, in peak summer that too, how much more of 'perfect moment to kiss' could it be (…sorry, I am kind of deprived). As I have already said, this summer does feel different. And one of the top most reason for it to be so, is him. To be in love with someone enough to look at the world -starry eyed- is apparently my status of love-meter as of now. I always loved the concept of loving, but somehow now the concept of love has expanded to universes beyond and it somehow even means that for me the concept of love lies within him.  Surely I am a cliché type of girl in love. I love to write, ...

  How does one live when all that you know is that you are breathing and trying your chance at luck every single time? Maybe it is because of the lack of socializing I am doing or the lack of someone who can read my mind, who probably even knows the future because they have reincarnated into some book of my life or such, but it just feels so in the spot to think of 'living up the peak' when you just don't know how your next moment would be like. 'But maybe everything might just fall into place, right?' I am that much of a utopian to think so. Because that was life for me until now, to just do my part and everything would align.  For all, life just feels beyond only saying that I am in love and I love living, two of the things which I say a lot. It is a spider web, but there is no spider, so you are just in the weighting balance of thinking things like, 'what if a spider comes out of nowhere', 'what if I just be stuck here for god knows how much time'...

  How does one be so much of a romanticist that all they see is how this moment is such a perfect-potential one for something picturesque to happen? For the longest time ever, I have been someone who makes up scenarios to recreate with someone who would be equally in love with me as I would be. Now, I don't know how the 5 year old me liked seeing people be in love when she knew nothing about it, but maybe the inner child in me was always meant to be a lover girl.  As for all the Disney movies, Ghibli studio movies, comics, TV shows and movies in general, and the multiple books I have read, all of which had the genre of romance, I have become the one who hopes for everything to end with a beautiful love story. I even wrote a story myself after being fascinated by my dreams. And later all I could dream was my main characters falling in love. Spending hours in thinking how I should I write them, researching about cars, models, run ways and what not just to make a book that I have...

  How is that, even with the hot rays falling on you, you would rather admire how the clouds have made patterns, how the sun makes your eyes show their shimmery beauty, how your skin shines even though it feels like it is burning a little, and how it is ever so pretty to be alive to feel this weirdly comfortable yet irritating feeling which comes with the summers? I was never someone to say, 'I love summers'. Come on, who even liked the UV pressing into your skin anyways, even if it is for the exchange of ice cream (even though it was enough to convince me that I can only survive summers because of ice creams and shaved ice). But this summer does kind of feel different. It has become more than just a warm season and rather a season in which I can be glad of everything. Spending more time with my friends while using, 'let's have ice cream, it is sooo hot', as a reason; being a complete sky admirer without using them as my outlet of overthinking; enjoying the cold air...

Being in love with him feels so real, and somehow the last chord to this reality hits the hardest with the way how he loves me. Time feels like it is moving forwards in leaps of days as I look at him, and then I just want to go on to see him for centuries and lifetimes. A touch feels so hot that it might burn me, and then I want to have burn scar all over my body and still want him to touch me. A kiss feels so heart-shaking that it might tear out of my body and yet it will jump with excitement because I am kissing him, and I wouldn't even care it happens; wanting to just kiss him more. He loves me in a way so silly, that it makes me feel all giddy. Yet I just want to be more and more insane in it. And somehow, all of this makes sense because I am in  love  with  the right one . When I remind myself that I am in a love like this, I feel a whole new excitement with calm gratitude of being loved in such a way and love him in my way.  It feels like I am a kid, finally us...

For a allormantic person like me, falling in love with someone or something was always easy. And adding up that I do have a good and all, normal life, I didn't really expect something huge from 'love' other than 'someone who loves me'.  But now as I say, 'love', it even somehow means 'him'. That is how much he has turned the meaning for me.  It has been ONE YEAR since 'him and I' really meant 'us', but I would be lying if I said that it felt like it. It felt like years yet days. It felt like seasons yet as if it was just 24 hours - sun kissed day and midnight rain. It felt as if it was all of the emotions, made into a sentence and somehow it would just be us saying 'I love yous' to each other. How does one even love for 'live and love' to become the main goal among the thousand more things that they believed were more important than living itself? How does one love in the way that it feels light knowing that someone w...