.coldcoffee.

-



"Umhmm."

"So how's it going?"

"All good"

"Oh come on, you can tell me."

"Umhmm" *proceeds to ramble about him for hours*



Yes, that is me every time someone asks me that, because it is impossible to not somehow bring him into conversations.

I was just a hopeless - romantic before him, but this guy is showing me how to love, all brains and hearts into it, till my soul is left craving, till my bones feel lose, till my eyes close to just let the peace take over. He is my comfort.

Sure, it would be just butterflies, which I am exaggerating, but how can they be just butterflies when my whole body longs for just a view of him. Butterflies are surely mythical to have, but your soul being enriched after when he says those 3 words, myths could never come near.

Every 'byee' with a '(virtual kisses)' at the end, every 'heyy' with a nickname attached, every 'I love you' with 'always', every little lame joke with a laugh to cherish, every poem he wrote with a 'for you' to finish. Yes, that is my idea of perfect.

Conversations in my head, turn real. Overthought words become so simple. All deep worries just wash away. All fears answered with 'I am there for you'. Umhmm, all because of him.

Me, in love with him. That is what I need. Him, in love with me. That is what I need. Because aren't wants just simple desires whereas, what I feel for him, it goes way beyond what my dictionary of words knows. 

Thousands of proofs that showed that boys like books never exist, congratulations, you are proved wrong. All my thoughts of having a book boyfriend type boy in my life, fulfilled. All my assumptions that someone like books would never exist, not even close because apparently he does. 

So why won't I ramble. When he vows to be mine, when he loves me like he was made for me, when he says words like they where made for me, when he admires me even if I am doing the literal nothing, when he states, not says, STATES that I am perfect when I try to remove faults in myself. Never in my life, could I not love him.

.

.

.

Never in my life, could he ever make me not love him.




Thank you so much

For giving this your precious time

Stay tuned for more!

-17.


 


Popular posts from this blog

.coldcoffee.

-
Image
I am not in love. I swear. Not with my male best friend, at least.  But me not being in love would not justify why he is acting too much like a boyfriend, protective I mind you, and very delicate. Which is quite unlike when his first words of the day would be, quote un-quote, 'argh, can't you be absent for a day? I am desperate for peace in my life'. Now that would be old news because now he is, well, too happy that I am there.  Ironic, but the guy who, once upon a time, used to push and scrawl at me when I touched his hair for fun, is now touching my cheeks, ears, hair, eyes and arms like he has seen them for the first time. What makes it more awkward is, my so-called friend likes him. And that silly guy, unaware of her sharp eyes when he is with me, touches my shoulders in the most non- 'just best friends' way. After which I have to give her a confirmation about me not dating him.  Sure, I got butterflies every time he touched me thinking I would not care. I do. E...
Read more

.coldcoffee.

-
Image
  Love can be a little overwhelming.  Especially when you have not asked for it. Not to your male best friend, at least. Ruining a 4 year friendship for just a chance to hold them in your arms, must feel deafening to the level death. But I can't help but think about how he would hold me.  It is shameful. More than I would like to admit. But it feels heavenly to be in between the mist of emotions. Even though, that feeling is only when he looks at me with those eyes who just look at me, find me, love me, and want to be there just for me. For, once coming to the ledge of love but getting pulled back to the 'Ain't I your best friend?'. It is frustrating. 'One step forward, three steps back' is just a great Olivia Rodrigo song. But isn't love just meant to be complicated. Him dancing in between the lines of liking me and being just friends with me, while I stand in the corner. Which is most probably marked as 'love'. Chaos is inevitable. But for now, my ...
Read more

.coldcoffee.

-
Image
I WANT TO DIE. And joking would quite literally not be the right word.  It was all and all an innocent- cough - not so innocent friendship, but maybe things do change. I don't know how much exactly they changed because I am back again where I was 2 years ago. Where was I? In my world where he would love me and it would hopefully not end with an alarm ringing in my ear. But time and time, it became more difficult.  My friend liked him. And people pleasers don't let go a friend for a boy. That is girl code, right? And getting to know this when I prepared myself to tell him how I feel, would just be the straw that broke the camel's back. I did tell him who I liked though - His best friend. Before any of this got cleared up, my whole section knew about my 'much interested' crush.  Day by day, I left thinking about him. He started dating someone. I started dating too. How did that go? Ahem, get me a drink to hear that. But in all this mess, why am I dragged to square one...
Read more