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Maybe I have finally learnt the most beautiful way to live. What is it you say? Being in love. With him, with myself, with the little things that make me smile, and this life.

 
I wonder how my favourite words now are 'exist' and 'live' to write in a poem, when all I wrote was how death captivated the best of me, how I wish this all ended and many more which didn't at all coincide with living.

But I am not surprised. It is just as if I knew that when he would come by, living would just get more pleasant than before, and not merely surviving and trying to 'live'. 

From the day one till the current, it just felt like we dated since ages, when it is not even been a year yet. But how does one not feel so, when you finally feel like you are home after years of trying to find one? 

As though, loving him was just continued over all my previous lives and when I knew him, I knew that it was love. Because it has to.

At most, when this love found me, it would have found me alive, but when it took a hold of me, it must have seen me rise to live. Live with his smiles, with him having his arms around me, with this new found feeling of letting go things and holding onto just which matter because somehow worries just felt insignificant when he told me that it would be alright, with this urge to live to the fullest to see this, our thing, throughout the next lifetimes.

With him, every second feels like it is passing with a whooshing golden beat trying to mirror his heartbeat, every word feels slowed down to reach my soul and for my soul to go 'hayee~' every time, every confession seems like it should be much more to do justice to how much this love means, every touch of his skin against mine feels like it would be worth it to go to lengths and lengths for him just like that.

As of now, we have gotten busy with our lives and it is hard to even talk for a moment sometimes, but every time we do, it shows that the waiting and yearning has done no harm, rather, made it a thing to be more grateful about us being there for each other. 

He is someone who would know when I would be crying, pretending that it is okay, someone who knows how much I love my pet to add her every time he mentions something about my family, someone who knows that I would have texted him a 'good morninggg' and slept again, someone who knows how much what I am doing is worth to me, to always push me towards it, someone who knows that I would say that I would not eat but he would still order French fries because I am going to eat it as I talk to him anyways, someone who knows how much the little things matter, someone who knows all of me, may it be the bads or the goods or the shabbiest or the sharpest, and mostly someone who knows how to love me just right for me to feel 'home'.

So maybe the future will be like this golden present, or have it's own shade, but whatever it might be, it is surely going to continue with him being with me for more than infinity.

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Infinity- like the pendent on necklace he put around my neck (*internally shouting*).

🎵- oh to be loved- JVKE

Thank you so much

For giving this your precious time

Stay tuned for more!

-17.