.coldcoffee.

-

 

Love can be a little overwhelming. 

Especially when you have not asked for it. Not to your male best friend, at least.

Ruining a 4 year friendship for just a chance to hold them in your arms, must feel deafening to the level death. But I can't help but think about how he would hold me. 

It is shameful. More than I would like to admit. But it feels heavenly to be in between the mist of emotions. Even though, that feeling is only when he looks at me with those eyes who just look at me, find me, love me, and want to be there just for me.

For, once coming to the ledge of love but getting pulled back to the 'Ain't I your best friend?'. It is frustrating. 'One step forward, three steps back' is just a great Olivia Rodrigo song.

But isn't love just meant to be complicated. Him dancing in between the lines of liking me and being just friends with me, while I stand in the corner. Which is most probably marked as 'love'.

Chaos is inevitable. But for now, my sentiments are just full of emotion around him. He is just like that. Everything between confusion and clarity. Never being the absolute end. 

But that is far from enough. Maybe I just want to hold this emotion forever or maybe I just need time to rethink it all. But till I do something, this is where you will find me being in peace.

.

.

.

With him. 






🎵- Fall In Love Alone- Stacey Ryan 

Thank you so much

For giving this your precious time

Stay tuned for more!

-17.

Check out more -

.coldcoffee.

-
Image
I am not in love. I swear. Not with my male best friend, at least.  But me not being in love would not justify why he is acting too much like a boyfriend, protective I mind you, and very delicate. Which is quite unlike when his first words of the day would be, quote un-quote, 'argh, can't you be absent for a day? I am desperate for peace in my life'. Now that would be old news because now he is, well, too happy that I am there.  Ironic, but the guy who, once upon a time, used to push and scrawl at me when I touched his hair for fun, is now touching my cheeks, ears, hair, eyes and arms like he has seen them for the first time. What makes it more awkward is, my so-called friend likes him. And that silly guy, unaware of her sharp eyes when he is with me, touches my shoulders in the most non- 'just best friends' way. After which I have to give her a confirmation about me not dating him.  Sure, I got butterflies every time he touched me thinking I would not care. I do. E...
read more

.coldcoffee.

-
Image
  Maybe I have finally learnt the most beautiful way to live. What is it you say? Being in love. With him, with myself, with the little things that make me smile, and this life.   I wonder how my favourite words now are 'exist' and 'live' to write in a poem, when all I wrote was how death captivated the best of me, how I wish this all ended and many more which didn't at all coincide with living. But I am not surprised. It is just as if I knew that when he would come by, living would just get more pleasant than before, and not merely surviving and trying to ' live '.  From the day one till the current, it just felt like we dated since ages, when it is not even been a year yet. But how does one not feel so, when you finally feel like you are home after years of trying to find one?  As though, loving him was just continued over all my previous lives and when I knew him, I knew that it was love. Because it has to. At most, when this love found me, it would have ...
read more