.coldcoffee.

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I WANT TO DIE. And joking would quite literally not be the right word. 

It was all and all an innocent- cough - not so innocent friendship, but maybe things do change. I don't know how much exactly they changed because I am back again where I was 2 years ago.

Where was I? In my world where he would love me and it would hopefully not end with an alarm ringing in my ear. But time and time, it became more difficult. 

My friend liked him. And people pleasers don't let go a friend for a boy. That is girl code, right? And getting to know this when I prepared myself to tell him how I feel, would just be the straw that broke the camel's back.

I did tell him who I liked though - His best friend. Before any of this got cleared up, my whole section knew about my 'much interested' crush. 

Day by day, I left thinking about him. He started dating someone. I started dating too. How did that go? Ahem, get me a drink to hear that.

But in all this mess, why am I dragged to square one every time he says something which I won't call just platonic. 

How could I not fall when, he acts like I mean a lot? How could I not fall in love when he is there, no matter how bad I was to him, no matter how many friends I would be on the verge of losing, no matter how long I was going to ignore him just because he didn't say 'Hi' to me when I came to him and no matter how much I would be hard to understand?

But all this would be immaturity, considering he is kind to every one. He is caring, but caring for every one. He brings a shining urge to live, but he is that shine for every one. He is a great listener, but it's not just me who he listens to. 

So, falling in love again, would not be in my cards.

.

.

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Not with him, right?

.

.

.

But mayb- sorry I am not going to be delusional.





🎵- 1 step forward, 3 steps back - Olivia Rodrigo

Thank you so much

For giving this your precious time!

-17.

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